I have a love-hate relationship with my wii fit. Love it when the graph shows I am losing weight, and HATE it when it bounces back up, and then my mii character gets FAT! What’s up with that, anyway??? What about promoting that svelte body image that I am aspiring for? Have the creators of the wii fit software platform not read “The Secret?” Stop manifesting a body that I am sooo not visualizing for myself. I am not only believing it is possible, but taking the actions needed to bring it to fruition. I think that ought to count for something!
One thing the wii fit does is ask you to select a reason why you think you might have gained weight. Which makes sense, but the reasons they list are STUPID! Some are really self explanatory; like “I ate too much,” “Late night snacking,” and “Not enough exercise.” I scratched my head at “I have indigestion,” but I suppose that is a polite way of saying, “Hello… I am constipated,” because let’s get real. If your weight went up three pounds because you need to BURP, you have some serious health issues. There is an “I don’t know” option, but if you use it, the wii trainer comes on and shakes his finger at you and tells you to figure it out.
I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that the majority of people who use the wii fit are women. I know that sounds a bit sexist, but most of the guys I know prefer hefty weight lifting, kickboxing and other forms of mixed martial arts, or other gym related activities, not a little step-stool on their living room floor. We women are obsessed with not showing up in a gym until we have attained the svelte figure we already envision ourselves with. We are realists when it comes to that. No one wants to see me huffing and puffing away in a spandex suit. Including me. Ergo, we like the ability to trim down in the privacy of our own living room with a virtual trainer who won’t snicker behind our backs at the rolls of fat under our baggy sweat suits.
But, back to the options when it comes to weight gain. Going with the premise that there are a lot of women using the product, and it did ASK me my gender after all, I am going to suggest a few additional categories for weight gain.
“This week will be bad, I have a visitor. Thanks for noticing that I’m cranky too.” Hello? This is the most obvious one out there. And it sure makes more sense than “I have indigestion.”
“Just broke up with my boyfriend.” We have all been there. Bring on the chocolate, and pull out a box of tissues. Unfortunately, the weight gained by the chocolate is NOT offset by the volume of tears going out. Wish it was, but not so much. Another related reason? “My best friend broke up with her boyfriend.” We all know that sympathy chocolate is essential to the recovery process, right?
“My stupid doctor refuses to give me enough thyroid medicine to make this weight go down.” I’ve been there, done that! After a bout of mononucleosis, my body decided that my thyroid looked a lot like the mono virus and killed it off too. My weight jumped 80 pounds in six months before we figured it out. Easy enough, I thought. Give me enough thyroid hormone replacement to put it in overdrive for six months, voila! Not so much.
“I’m female. I’m hormonal. Deal with it or die.” Kind of related to the first reason, but we all know which days I’m talking about here.
And my favorite reason of all, “Ask me again and I will throw you and your stupid virtual trainer into the trash.” I use the male trainer (duh!). Didn’t this guy get the message that polite gentlemen do not ever ask or comment on a woman’s weight? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You should be ashamed of yourself, virtual wii trainer!
Well, I’m off now, I have a date with my wii fit. If you see a white board in the dumpster tomorrow, you’ll know what happened.